‘Trust me or panic:’ The Clan said what??


I don't know about you, but that looks to me like a group of people who get their kicks where they can - and who get a certain degree of pleasure out of being some of the weirdest people we know.

Last week, I wrote about some of the unusual things that have been heard in our house. 

In case you missed it, the list included safety instructions for using hairdryers, information about the proper way to hold forks, stats on Mom’s winning streak in water-polo, and other, even more surprising things.

 (For instance, that one time a sibling said, “Let’s see if I can survive this cool move.” That by itself should give you a good idea of what life is really like with the Clan.)

But the quotes I shared last week were just the tip of the iceberg, so here’s the second installment of the crazy things that have been heard in this house.

Me: “I love watermelon. I could live on watermelon, actually. I'd probably have to live in the bathtub, but still.”

Little sister: “You can either have one candy cane or one kitty-cat for your piece of candy.”

Sibling to younger brother: “Buddy, you better stick to being three cuz if you get any less cute, you’re gonna be down-right annoying.”

Sibling: “Mom, your electrified blues are drowning out our classical music in the basement.”

Mom: “Actually, you are NOT one with the wind and sky. You are four, and you are emptying the dishwasher.”

Little sibling: “I don’t really like that stuff, but if we pack a lunch for Lydia while she is asleep, we can put a big bin of it in her bag and she’ll be surprised to find it.

An unknown Clan member: “You will either have to trust me or panic. Either way is fine with me.”

Sibling: “Mom, can I crack this hard-boiled egg by throwing it at the ceiling?”

Younger sibling about another sibling: “My partner is voice activated.”

Older sibling: “Here is a pretzel to help you with your suffering.”

Sibling: “(A particular sister) conquered the world before you did.”

Little sibling: “I like (a particular brother) better than, you know, peanut butter.”

Sibling 1: “All of my ducks are in a row — in a straight line.”

Sibling 2: “That’s not a row, that’s an evacuation plan.”

Sibling: “If you guys are going to fight about this, you need to completely wipe each other out in the battle so the rest of us can be rid of you completely.”

Little sister to Dad: “Halos are in barns.”

Dad: “You mean haymows.”

Little sibling: “I got (for my birthday) markers and pens to draw on people with while they’re sleeping.”

Me: “Swatting flies is lots of fun. I recommend it over all other forms of therapy.”

And you know what the craziest (or maybe scariest?) part about all these quotes is? I’m not making them up. And I'm sure for every one we catch and remember to write down, there’s more we miss. 

Just let that sink in.

 

 

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